The changes you expect, and the ones that blindside you

D here.. and I'll start with something big.

Newsflash: Things change after you have your first child. I'll try not to be quite as shocking from here on out.

Here are the things I knew would be different, be it rationally or stuck somewhere in the back of my head so it wasn't really a surprise:

• Sleep is now a valued commodity that can be traded/sold as T and I sort out who does what. ex: I'll take her now, so you can sleep, and maybe later I can catch a nap while you watch her.. great!
• Unless you're independently wealthy or have everything given to you (and, admittedly, we got some fantastic gifts from friends and family), count on being broke. Even if you budget, you'll realize x,y,z things you need and go "well, damn, broke again. Ok, we'll figure it out." This is just how it is.
• There will be poop. It will get on your things. Plan for that.
• Walking around changes when you're pushing a baby in a stroller. People that had no problem taking up the entire sidewalk now don't want to be the jerk that shoves a carriage.
• Chores are now harder to do. Who knew? There's a reason the ones at home with the baby (mostly women) have been offended in the past when someone says, "well, you were home doing nothing all day, why didn't you get x,y,z done?" That's so outrageously ignorant that it's laughable unless directed at you. Sitting through a feeding with your arm numb and desperate to go to the bathroom.. or going to put her down and listen to the wails of misery until warmth and food returns? I mean, really.. the baby was held in the womb 24 hours a day for months, and now rightly complains that she's 'only' being held for 6-8-10 hours a day. When you just want a break.. and a shower.. and to get the litter box changed. Oof.

We all knew things like this.. right? Right? Maybe?

What I didn't see coming:

• My emotions being twisted around a finger that measure low digits in centimeters. I'm a puddle more often than not, and re-melt with such ease that it's stunning.
• The dramatic shift in people's reaction to you when they see you're not just another random guy walking down the street, you have a baby. Is he more responsible? Is he more interesting? Someone must like him, I wonder why he's good reproductive material? I mean, it's nigh comical how different the attitudes are. (Now, as soon as she's 3+ and at the park.. and I'm just this guy staring at a pretty little toddler that soccer moms have to sort out if I'm really her father? Let's see the reactions then.)
• Just how eager I am to get home and be with my girls (wifey and baby alike). I mean, I already loved my wife, but I can't even factor the appropriate multiplier now regarding how much it means to me to get to them.
• The sheer volume of things that go into having a night out. I mean, I'd known it wouldn't be easy.. but getting just the right number of things in place is rather astounding. Finding a sitter.. that's reliable.. that can handle newborns.. that can be at our place on time.. and can stay as late as we need.. on a weekday night.. that isn't going to use up the entirety of the money set aside to be out in the first place...? And that's just the sitter part of the night's planning? Whew, I'm already tired.
  
• Just how quickly you go through clean clothes.
• Just how quickly your baby goes through owned clothes. She's not even 7 weeks and almost all the newborn stuff is already too small. I feel like she got to wear some things maybe once.. and they were friggin' CUTE on her, too. But.. but.. BUT! Damn.
• How the simplest things to me are a new world of utter fascination to my little princess. A simple little device that plays catchy little sounds paired up with a multi-colored light show with each noise that comes from the device? She's fascinated by it. The delight that is so clearly expressed on her face? Yeah, back to being a puddle. Again. For the 3rd time this morning. I wonder if clothiers make 'puddle-size' attire. I may need to investigate.
• How different people's reactions are to a couple turning into a family. Case in point: some friends of ours have made an effort to find out when we're free to come visit us and meet her. Others seem interested.. but I think they're waiting for us to reach out to them.. perhaps working off of the 'they are probably too busy to get together' idea. Not a bad one, but not entirely spot on. We're just (far) less mobile. Still others.. I don't think being around a baby works for them, and we're now friends from afar.
  (NOTE: Let me be clear that this isn't a slight on ANY of them.. it's just an observation that I didn't exactly see coming and I'm learning to adjust to.)
• How grateful I am that T insisted on having some things already planned for, acquired, built and ready for the baby's arrival. Some things I thought were 'a bit much' and have proven to be hugely helpful. She's (as I expected, really) a wonderful Mommy and, often enough, I'm just trying to emulate her (and my own parents, whom I learned a great, great deal from). I think I'm learning more quickly than I anticipated. Trial-by-fire tends to do that, ready or not.
• Just how much I look forward to sharing things with Lily. I mean, in the back of my head I knew it'd be up to one of us to teach her to ride a bike, etc.. but when T goes "just think, won't be too long before you get to teach her to swim"? Yep, I melted again just now.

These are just the things I can think of right now. This post took me over 2 hours to put together.. in part because of all the pauses I needed to make to tend to my little pumpkin while T got some rest. It's damn near a novel.

Love to my girls!