Animal Planet at our house.

Those who know our little family have most likely met or at least heard of our kitties.   If you haven't, here is a brief introduction:

Our old girl - 14-year-old Tasha                                  Sweet but quite frankly "dumb" 9-year-old Kasey

                                           2-year old brother and sister Max (left) and Mikki (right)

Ok, so pleasantries out of the way, it's fair to say that it can be a mad house here especially when the cats are hungry or on a daily energy-high.

When we first got pregnant and announced it I got a lot of sweet wishes and congratulations.  Along with those warm thoughts I have been "punched" with "What are you going to do with your cats?" question.   Now I must say that I was warned about it and tried to prepare for it but it still irritated me to no end.  "What do you mean what I am going to do with them?  Make cat-stew?"

It seems like some people assume that once children enter the picture there is no place for animals; animals are dangerous, animals cause allergies or new parents can't handle both.  Whatever the reason, the question about our cats kept coming up and making me nearly draw blood from biting my tongue.

(Note to some: if you want to check how much of self-control a pregnant woman has - ask said pregnant woman, who is full of raging hormones, what she plans to do with her beloved animal(s) once the baby arrives.  Level of self-control is ranged on a scale of how much her response hurts you :) )

Now neither D nor I were dismissing all possibilities of cats + baby scenarios and took quite a few steps in preparing for our cats' new roommate arrangement.  Some things, though, we can't really do much for. Like, how were they going to react to the new arrival?  I read a few horror stories and what scared me the most was the possibility of any of them being aggressive toward the baby. They all have their own personalities, so what were we in for?

Let's go straight to the happy ending (so far):

• Tasha, old girl that she is, prefers to be left alone.. just like every other visitor. So this one is staying longer... big deal. She opts to ignore the baby until Lily cries.. and then she runs for it (the door, that is, not the baby).
• Kasey remains oblivious as always. She's consistent.. we can really count on her for this. 
• Max.. well, at first, I wasn't sure if he was more curious or more scared of the new addition. Now he either takes over her crib for himself when she's not in it, or takes a whiff of her and keeps on moving. He's curious, but mostly apathetic. 
• Mikki is the most adventurous and nosy.. just like always. Luckily, her klutzy ways have been a moot point. She gets up close, smells.. and either cuddles up with Mommy or looks for something more interesting. Now that the space closest to Mommy is taken up by Lily, Mikki adjust and finds a new place to lie to immobilize Mommy even further.. and sometimes she takes on her own KittyRelocationProject. 

We'll see how things change as soon as Lily starts grabbing at things. Cat tails, beware! Hopefully we won't find (too many) patches of cat hair clumped on the floor with fresh bald spots on the little darlings.

Now I want to share our expectations and steps we took in preparation states of our little Lily's arrival.

Expectation: Cats will be a problem in the crib/swing/bouncers/stroller/changing table.
Step(s) taken: We'll find a way to keep the cats out of the bedroom.. and even when they get in the room, we'll put foil on the edge of the crib walls. That'll be unpleasant enough and we'll have no cat issues in the crib. In fact, we'll put it everywhere. The stuff worked, right?
Reality: HAH. Only one cat gets in the crib, Max, but he does so when he damn well pleases.. sprawled out like a king on 'his' sheets, legs in the air, rolling back and forth. It may not be his all the time, and hasn't been the case when the baby is lying inside it.. but right then? That's his and forget you for thinking otherwise. They don't bother with the swing, the stroller, the bouncer. And now that the baby routinely is on the changing table, Mikki doesn't try to get up on that soft new bed. It must be tainted.

Expectation: Cats will be a problem in a room she's going to crawl around in.
Step(s) taken: We put up a 42"-tall gate at the bedroom door. We'll get them used to not jumping into bed with us at night.
Reality: We made it approximately 0 nights with the cats kept out of the room. Oh, the gate was useful.. at times. It was nigh comical seeing the cats behind the vertical bars, longing for what was on the other side. We could only be jailers for so long on 2 nights, then said 'forget it' and let them in. We're suckers. But we're good at it! And now... well, the gate came back down. It got used more for containment than prevention.. though temporary jailing was useful at times.


Expectation: Cat hair will get on all of the baby's clothes.
Step(s) taken: ... yeah right, like there's anything we could do to prevent this.
Reality: Extra lint-rollers acquired and we called this a minor victory. They still don't get brushed often enough, but minor victories still count. Right?

Expectation: Cat noises will keep her up or wake her up.
Step(s) taken: Keep the cats fed on the normal schedule and be ready to separate noisy little buggers as they vie for territory, food, or the right to say 'I got more of their attention than you did.. neener!'
Reality: For the most part, it's a moot point. Even if she gets startled by a noise (cat-related or otherwise), the response is very short lived and she settles down somewhere between .2 and 2 seconds. Mostly. Personally, we prefer the low end. Try to contain your shock.

What did we learn?  You can never really prepare for everything.. kind of like being new parents, right?  Especially when it has to do with living beings that have their own personalities and behaviors that aren't entirely predictable.  All in all? We've been pretty lucky and we're good with that.

And we're keeping the gate ready. This time for the baby.. she'll be moving before we know it. 

T&D

The changes you expect, and the ones that blindside you

D here.. and I'll start with something big.

Newsflash: Things change after you have your first child. I'll try not to be quite as shocking from here on out.

Here are the things I knew would be different, be it rationally or stuck somewhere in the back of my head so it wasn't really a surprise:

• Sleep is now a valued commodity that can be traded/sold as T and I sort out who does what. ex: I'll take her now, so you can sleep, and maybe later I can catch a nap while you watch her.. great!
• Unless you're independently wealthy or have everything given to you (and, admittedly, we got some fantastic gifts from friends and family), count on being broke. Even if you budget, you'll realize x,y,z things you need and go "well, damn, broke again. Ok, we'll figure it out." This is just how it is.
• There will be poop. It will get on your things. Plan for that.
• Walking around changes when you're pushing a baby in a stroller. People that had no problem taking up the entire sidewalk now don't want to be the jerk that shoves a carriage.
• Chores are now harder to do. Who knew? There's a reason the ones at home with the baby (mostly women) have been offended in the past when someone says, "well, you were home doing nothing all day, why didn't you get x,y,z done?" That's so outrageously ignorant that it's laughable unless directed at you. Sitting through a feeding with your arm numb and desperate to go to the bathroom.. or going to put her down and listen to the wails of misery until warmth and food returns? I mean, really.. the baby was held in the womb 24 hours a day for months, and now rightly complains that she's 'only' being held for 6-8-10 hours a day. When you just want a break.. and a shower.. and to get the litter box changed. Oof.

We all knew things like this.. right? Right? Maybe?

What I didn't see coming:

• My emotions being twisted around a finger that measure low digits in centimeters. I'm a puddle more often than not, and re-melt with such ease that it's stunning.
• The dramatic shift in people's reaction to you when they see you're not just another random guy walking down the street, you have a baby. Is he more responsible? Is he more interesting? Someone must like him, I wonder why he's good reproductive material? I mean, it's nigh comical how different the attitudes are. (Now, as soon as she's 3+ and at the park.. and I'm just this guy staring at a pretty little toddler that soccer moms have to sort out if I'm really her father? Let's see the reactions then.)
• Just how eager I am to get home and be with my girls (wifey and baby alike). I mean, I already loved my wife, but I can't even factor the appropriate multiplier now regarding how much it means to me to get to them.
• The sheer volume of things that go into having a night out. I mean, I'd known it wouldn't be easy.. but getting just the right number of things in place is rather astounding. Finding a sitter.. that's reliable.. that can handle newborns.. that can be at our place on time.. and can stay as late as we need.. on a weekday night.. that isn't going to use up the entirety of the money set aside to be out in the first place...? And that's just the sitter part of the night's planning? Whew, I'm already tired.
  
• Just how quickly you go through clean clothes.
• Just how quickly your baby goes through owned clothes. She's not even 7 weeks and almost all the newborn stuff is already too small. I feel like she got to wear some things maybe once.. and they were friggin' CUTE on her, too. But.. but.. BUT! Damn.
• How the simplest things to me are a new world of utter fascination to my little princess. A simple little device that plays catchy little sounds paired up with a multi-colored light show with each noise that comes from the device? She's fascinated by it. The delight that is so clearly expressed on her face? Yeah, back to being a puddle. Again. For the 3rd time this morning. I wonder if clothiers make 'puddle-size' attire. I may need to investigate.
• How different people's reactions are to a couple turning into a family. Case in point: some friends of ours have made an effort to find out when we're free to come visit us and meet her. Others seem interested.. but I think they're waiting for us to reach out to them.. perhaps working off of the 'they are probably too busy to get together' idea. Not a bad one, but not entirely spot on. We're just (far) less mobile. Still others.. I don't think being around a baby works for them, and we're now friends from afar.
  (NOTE: Let me be clear that this isn't a slight on ANY of them.. it's just an observation that I didn't exactly see coming and I'm learning to adjust to.)
• How grateful I am that T insisted on having some things already planned for, acquired, built and ready for the baby's arrival. Some things I thought were 'a bit much' and have proven to be hugely helpful. She's (as I expected, really) a wonderful Mommy and, often enough, I'm just trying to emulate her (and my own parents, whom I learned a great, great deal from). I think I'm learning more quickly than I anticipated. Trial-by-fire tends to do that, ready or not.
• Just how much I look forward to sharing things with Lily. I mean, in the back of my head I knew it'd be up to one of us to teach her to ride a bike, etc.. but when T goes "just think, won't be too long before you get to teach her to swim"? Yep, I melted again just now.

These are just the things I can think of right now. This post took me over 2 hours to put together.. in part because of all the pauses I needed to make to tend to my little pumpkin while T got some rest. It's damn near a novel.

Love to my girls!

The Beginning...

          Once upon a time... I woke up in the middle of the night to a fussy baby and had an idea...  now whether an "idea" that comes to you at 4am of a sleepless night should be considered and epiphany or something that should be forgotten like a bad dream, well.. you tell us! Either way, this blog was born.

Now let me play catch-up for a few minutes.  Our journey began when about 10 months ago my not-yet-hubby and I decided to finally grow up and start a family.  Then came 40 full weeks of a growing tummy along with all the beautiful, yucky, ouchy, and wonderful elements that come with it.  Then of course half of the pregnancy was laced with nerve-wrecking wedding-planning months but it all came down to a fantastic night with family and friends.

Now I must say that even before she was born, Lily was already a fantastic and very smart baby (minus the daily bouts of hiccups that totally rendered me incapable to concentrate on anything).  She was due on January 1st and for those of you who are Russian or know anything about Russian culture, know that New Years is a huge holiday for us, much like Christmas to many of you.  So as you can imagine I was not elated with the idea of spending a New Years in the hospital and much less for my little girl to share her special day with a huge holiday like this.  And there I was, telling my little one inside the tummy to wait and skip Christmas and New Years.  I was willing to keep her nice, warm and extra-cozy (due to rapid decrease of space for her to maneuver in) for a few extra days.  

I think that our little girl decided that mommy was right and that she deserves a birth-day of her own, unshared by millions of people celebrating a turn of the year.  On January 4th, at 4:54am Lily decided to greet the world, with the beautiful sounds... of her cries.  She's a wonderful baby girl and we absolutely love her adorable face, lovely smiles, cute "ag-oo" sounds, uncoordinated arm/feet movements and even her banshee-like demands or food/changing/cuddles/food/changing/food/entertainment... well you get the idea.

In conclusion to our introduction of this blog's writers - I am T, a sleep-deprived milk dispenser and D is a sleep-deprived puddle of goo (yes, he melts anytime Lily is being her cute self, which is all the time - so "melted" is his permanent state of being as of January 4th).

So now you are all up to speed with our lives.  We will follow up with thoughts, ideas, observations, senseless babble that our sleep-deprived minds conjure and anything else we feel like posting.   Oh and of course pictures and videos of Lily as she grows.

That's all for now,
-T